The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by bokeh the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I crot wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for bokep caterwauling) to crot the receptionist the next morning, bokep she rolled her eyes and porn declared the woman an ‘actrice’, porn or crot sex worker.

Now, crot according to memek this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, memek it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokeh all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, memek you can’t crot measure passion in terms of decibels: crot there’s sex as performance art, crot and bokeh sex as genuine intimacy. And bokep when a woman is genuinely aroused, bokeh trusts her partner and crot is not fearing for bokeh a porn fragile male ego, crot she’s far more likely to gently sigh and bokeh moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my crot Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The bokep Erotic Review magazine, memek female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, bokeh they’d explain, bokeh so they could make their partner feel happy, bokep while conserving their energy for porn bokep other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by bokep two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared porn that erotic decibels were all about manners and crot ‘manipulation’, memek and memek that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, porn so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked crot (Stock Image

It was crot like saying: bokeh ‘I’m enjoying this, crot but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, memek ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a memek demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, porn where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland memek said in crot 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: bokeh ‘As far as I’m concerned, porn that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, porn only if crot you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokep Sex At Dawn, crot Christopher Ryan and crot Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert crot nearby males that they were fertile and crot keen to copulate.

If you’re a bokeh sex worker, bokep I can understand porn the need porn to advertise. But if you’re not, bokeh then men should take heed: bokep the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris

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